You know I like sharing new discoveries with you, and you won't believe the new things I've found recently for my kitchen! They've saved me so much time and hard work. Here are a few of the kitchen gadgets I've found:
The Self-Unloading Dishwasher
Wow, do I love my new dishwasher! It's so convenient. I just throw my dishes in at night, add soap, press a few buttons, and hey presto! Next morning, the dishes are sparkling clean and back in their places in the cabinets and drawers.
The Self-Cleaning Refrigerator
No more arduous scrubbing and craning to reach those dark corners! This refrigerator will automatically clean up any spills, sticky messes, and strange green growths in your fridge. In addition, it will dispose of any rotten vegetables, moldy cheeses, and expired leftovers for you.
The Personal Chef Oven
This oven has really changed my life. All you have to do is select a meal of your choice from an (extensive) menu on the dashboard of the oven, and its programming will tell you what raw ingredients to place in the oven's specially-designed cooking compartment. Then you hit "Go," and it alerts you when the dish is finished...just pull it out, and enjoy!
Drone Grocery Delivery
This is probably my favorite new discovery of them all...I was recently asked to be part of a pilot test-program of this wonderful new delivery system, and I have to tell you, I may never go grocery shopping again. You order from the online menu of a grocery store, then pay for your order and wait. 30 minutes later, you'll hear this whirring sound out front, and the drone deposits your bags of groceries (cold items packed with ice, of course) on your front walk. Couldn't be easier if you tried. They never even break the eggs! I always tip my delivery drone, usually around 15% or so. They're very polite and efficient.
Yours Completely Fictitiously (Happy April Fools!),
P.S. If anyone ever invents these gadgets, I will be first in line.